Why I won’t be getting bladdered this weekend and…energy balls.


I’ve been chatting to a middle aged lady. She can’t understand why she eats so little and exercises so much, yet she is carrying weight. Yip. I hear it all the time and not just from women. Go on then I say, draw up a food diary and I’ll have a look.

Now I won’t go into the food, that’s for another day, but what I did notice was the booze. 2 bottles of wine over the course of the weekend. “But that’s not much”, she told me. “I know others who drink more than that”. Sure you do but we’re not talking about others, we’re talking about you, I responded. As I tell my kids, just because a friend sticks her head in the fire, doesn’t mean you need to do it too (I know. I’m a patronising moo cow).

Don’t complain to me that you have a fat arse and then drink 2 bottles of wine over 2 days. Don’t tell me you need it because you’re stressed out. For fuck’s sake, your body is asking for help and you feed it some poison. And don’t hit me with the shit that I look the way I do because I exercise so much or that I’m genetically gifted. I have a nice tight arse because I eat healthily, I exercise sensibly, I don’t poison my body and I get my sleep. It’s not fucking rocket science! Look yourself eye to eye in the mirror and ask yourself your own questions!

Anyway, I’m not going to be a preacher and tell you not to drink. We are all the masters of our own bodies. What I am going to do though is tell you why I won’t be getting bladdered this weekend.

If you want to lose or maintain weight, you need to eat a certain amount of calories. So if you are limited on calories, why on earth would you consume empty or dead calories? Alcohol contains empty calories and by this I mean that it has no nutritional value. I’m thinking glass of wine equals a whole heap of sugar? Who would eat a heap of sugar when you could dust some almonds in cocoa powder and eat those instead. No brainer or maybe I’m just not getting it!

Alcohol can impair your body’s ability to absorb nutrients. Yip, that’s it. Have a nice glass of wine for dinner with a salad and a lean piece of protein. Fill the salad up with beets, carrots, kale etc., after all, you’ll really benefit from that nutritious food….or will you?

It’s toxic to your liver. What more do I need to say. Ever seen anyone die of liver failure? I have. She was a middle aged mum (mine). It ain’t pretty!

Alcohols inhibits your body’s ability to make glucose. This means that it messes with your blood sugar levels. One of the key functions of your metabolism is to maintain adequate blood sugar levels in the body. Your body can’t store alcohol. When you drink alcohol, your body makes metabolizing it a priority over all other metabolic processes. Kind of means that that big lump of cheese you had with your wine is still sitting there turning to…..yip. You got it, fat (oversimplifying but I think you get my drift).

Even occasional alcohol consumption can cause drops in blood sugar levels, especially when drunk (excuse the pun) on an empty stomach. Yip, I know you like to down that first glass of wine when you get in from work whilst you’re getting dinner ready. You need to de-stress don’t you?

Oh and if you need it to de-stress, then tell me, what are you stressed about? What is the underlying issue. If you feel chilled after that glass of wine, I’d be asking myself why? It’s a bit like putting a plaster/band aid on that big scar on your cheek. It just covers it, it won’t make it go away! How about treating the cause and not the symptom.

Enough of my lecturing on booze. If you want to lose weight and get fit and healthy, bin the noose, trust me! (I’m going to leave the word “noose”. That was autopredict. I meant to write “booze”. Even my computer knows booze is killing us!) And I’m not going to go into what it dies to your skin. Needless to say, I can spot that clammy red look a mile away.

So I have a suggestion for you. Eat a healthy snack in the afternoon so that you’re not craving by dinner time. Try my energy balls. And, before dinner and before you think about filling up that booze glass, drink a big glass of water.

Energy ball recipe (check out the Vimeo vid on how to make them )


  • 1 cup/ (12-13)/225g of Medjool dates (the big fat soft ones)
  • 1 cup of almond meal/flour or ground hemp seeds
  • 2/3 cup of shredded coconut (unsweetened)
  • 2 tablespoons of coconut oil
  • 2 tablespoons of raw cacao/maca/carob powder plus 2 extra for dusting
  • protein powder (optional but if added, use 2 scoops, remove 2 tablespoons of the ground almonds and you might need a little extra coconut oil)


  • Blitz the dates in a blender to a paste.
  • Add the dry ingredients and combine to a crumby mixture.
  • Add the coconut oil bit by bit until your mixture comes together into a firm ball and then divide the mixture into individual balls.
  • Coat the balls in the extra powder and store in the fridge.


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